Saturday, 3 December 2016

Stop indulging the birthday monster.

I love birthdays, mine and of those people I like or love. I look at mine as a big reminder to say 'Heck yeah! I was born on this day! There is no one like me' and when it comes to celebrating other's birthdays I think of it as 'I'm so glad you were born, I'm so glad you are in my life!' type of thing. I don't expect others to love their birthdays like I love mine, but I also think it's weird when people don't like their birthdays.

Birthdays are great- everyone tells you that 'it's your day', people calls you, friends post a million messages on your timeline and tell you how great you are and people give you presents, present you with good food and all that good stuff  and you believe the hype. You expect everyone should be nice to you and celebrate 'your day' with you, right ? You expect friends to make a big fuss over your birthday and then you are let down when it doesn’t happen. 

I'll be honest, I'm so over this approach to my birthday and have been for a years now. I don't want what people do for me to be directly linked to how I enjoy my birthday. I think there should be a fine balance. I've gotten to the point where I know that wanting my birthday to be a special day is really my thing and no one else's. So if I want it to be a special day, I'm the one responsible for that energy, and what others do is their participation and nothing else.

Stop ruining your birthdays. Stop getting worked up because someone didn't call you. Stop getting worked up you bought someone a present and they didn't get you anything. Stop expecting friends and family to make a big deal out of your birthday. If you love your birthday and want to celebrate, great, but don't guilt people into celebrating with you. Stop setting yourself up for disappointment  Stop dropping birthday-wishlist hints and don't expect them to be as jazzed up about your day as you are. On the flip side, if you hate your birthday, don't constantly bitch and moan about it. Birthdays mean different things to people. People's lives are complex and you just can't expect everyone to turn up.

I'm not saying every person should sort themselves out, I love gifting people, especially  people that least expect it. I hate it when people ask 'What are you going to buy me for my birthday?' because I always feel guilt-tripped into buying presents when it should just be organic. You want people to buy you stuff and make you feel special? Great, but when last did you go out of your way to make someone's special? I approach my birthday each year with the lowest of expectations, without preparation, and  I am always pleasantly surprised by the thoughtfulness of a few people here and there. As others have said, nurture a handful of friendships, and moderate your expectations. 


  1. Interesting post. I have always hated my birthday and last year, I decided to start making it memorable by doing a photo shoot. It gives me something to look forward to as I plan the theme and outfit. The shoot for the 2016 birthday is currently up on my blog.

  2. I really like this post. Moderating our expectations is so important, and having a small amount of cherished friends is better than having many, as we often find out that some of them weren't really friends at all. Happy New Year to you, and warm greetings from Montreal, Canada. Thank you so much for your kind comment on my blog post. I post on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. :)

  3. Moderating expectations is key! Cool post and wise words!


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