Saturday, 31 December 2011

Note to Self: God believes in You

My bittersweet promotion.
So I got promoted from co-coordinator of our structure to the supervisor of our structure. This is the position I have been keeping my eyes fixed on ever since I become a leader, I knew that once I become a supervisor it meant that I will have reached a certain level of spiritual growth and leadership skills which I desired very much. While I was a member (not a leader), being a supervisor seemed so big. I used to look at my leaders and I admired and looked at them so much, I just knew that one day I was going to be like them: I wanted to contribute to the Kingdom like they did, lead people like they did, pray like they did (in my own unique way of course) . And finally I am here, but I am not as happy as I am supposed to be but right now I genuinely don't feel worthy of this position, I don't feel that I deserve this position. Being a co-coordinator was really tough for me, I don't think I did that much of good job as a co-coordinator to be promoted to become a supervisor, although I don't doubt for a second that I can do it. I just feel as though I am getting a position that I do not work for, I feel as though I failed at being a co-coordinator not because of my abilities per say but because so many things went so FREAKEN wrong. First it was the move, our house got renovated in April and we left our neighborhood for approximately three months and when we got back so many things had changed, I totally felt out of place. Then we got to the second semester and my classes clashed with the weekly structural meetings which caused me to be absent from my ministry duties.
I am busy trying to remind myself that promotion comes from God and not from man. If God didn’t want me to be a supervisor then I would not be a supervisor. This promotion has really reminded me how much God really believes in me, even though I feeling undeserving of this position He still believes that I do deserve it. You see, God doesn’t see us based on our mistakes, He only sees what we can become, He only sees the BEST in us.

Saturday, 24 December 2011

Note to Self: You can really change the world one person at a time

These past months have been extremely eye-opening and life changing. While it has been busy and filled with exciting things, the impact has really hit home in my heart and I am pretty sure that I will never be the same again. Three months ago our church had it's annual conference called 'Dream week', where some of the best speakers come for a WHOLE WEEK  to share the word with us.

THE conference changed my life in ways that I did not image that it would. I now see Christianity in a whole different way and that totally changed me. God truly dealt with me in areas that  I was not even being honest about, one of those areas is GIVING, to be honest I have never been much of a giver because I have been living under this mentality that the poor will always be with us and just forgot the immense difference that I can make. Yeah I have always been a tither and made financial contributions here and there but that was it, I knew my heart was selfish - I cared about my life and the people in it.


During the preaching of Pastors Don Phillips and Peter Pretorius God really broke my heart, made me see that the world doesn't revolve around me and began to give me a heart for people. There after I also began praying against the spirit of SELFISHNESS. I prayed cause I wanted the desire to genuinely care about people, those without rights, without the means to accomplish their dreams.  I wanted to care about teens and children... even if I didn't understand them.  I knew that they were vulnerable to a world that wants to corrupt them.  I wanted to care about their future.
Yes by all means I do have a desire and a passion to see people saved and and living thier lives for Christ but that is not enough. People can come to church poor but they cannot be in the Church of Jesus Christ and stay poor, it doesn't make sense! If Jesus was around he would NOT JUST be having alter calls, getting people saved. He would be caring for people's PHYSICAL and EMOTIONAL needs, He would be clothing and feeding the less fortunate. 

Poverty is Poverty, it is wrong and we cannot spiritualize it as 'a season' and it needs the church to intervene and before you start thinking of the church as other people, do not! We are the church, the born again Christians,(YOU+ME)! The blessings we have are not for ourselves, we are blessed to be a blessing.  I am encouraged to do so much more for the Kingdom ONE PERSON AT A TIME!

Friday, 23 December 2011

Changes to my blogspot

When I started this blog, I did not have followers in mind at all, I started it with the purpose of writing because I love writing, I love being able to plunk myself on the couch and type a couple of keys to create something, something that is in my heart. I love the fact that I can post bits and pieces of my life and having the creative outlet while doing it. I love that I can read this blog a couple of months or years down the line and see just how I have grown as a woman.
I have never really been interested in having followers because of a couple of reasons; the main reason being I did not want to succumb to writing for people, writing just to please people. The idea was to have my little spot where I can document my growth as a young woman after God’s own heart. I didn’t want to worry whether my blog posts would be perceived as too silly, not good enough, or what if they were not what people want to hear.
I have pretty much changed my mind, more than ever I am realizing that I HAVE A VOICE, I have something to say. Next year I am planning to make a couple of changes on my blog and one of those changes is going to be working towards getting my blog out there and I pray that it will be an encouragement to many. I am going through a season of growth in my life, pruning, snipping, growing, blossoming and blooming. My blog is not meant to be a site plastered with tepid post and silly phrases. It’s about life-real, vivid, whole life and I intend on celebrating it. Writing is a God-given passion and I am grateful for the gift of this online Journal of mine. I will no longer allow myself to be defined by what-ifs.
Join me.

Love, Cindy

Monday, 19 December 2011

This year I... Next year I want to...

The 365 days of 2011 that THE Lord blessed me with are almost over and my heart is filled with ABSOLUTE BLISS, I cannot believe how awesome He carried me and the people that I love through out the whole year, I am truly humbled. All that my mouth can utter is, 'thank you Lord'. I am thankful for the prayers that He answered and the prayers He didn’t answer, I know that His will and purpose is far better than mine.

I had a great time with Jesus this year.  I learnt so much about His heart and I also learnt a lot about myself, my weaknesses, my strengths, my likes, my dislikes. Sometimes I came to the Lord with disappointments and heart breaks and He was always there. I failed some few tests and passed a lot of them in the same time and I have non other but Him to thank for that. I am thankful for the people that He placed in my life this year, my friends, my leaders, my pastors, the people I lead and my family, even though I complained a lot about the changes, I can say that it all worked in my favour like you promised in Romans 8:28, I am thankful that He did not listen to me, this year God proved to me yet again that His will is far better than mine.

This year I…
Thought more like a woman of God, my mind really became more transformed. I can’t for 2012, with age comes wisdom
Judged less and put myself in people’s situations more
Praised and worshiped more passionately and more genuinely without a care in the world who might be watching.
Helped more even when it inconvenienced me.
Became rooted in what I believe, I believe Jesus is the way, the truth and the life-FACT!
Became neater where people were not looking (blame it on pastor At’s sermons)
Began to care more about my character than about my reputation, character is what God is after.
Learnt to guard my heart against offences.
Formed new, meaningful relationships
Saw myself having more faith in God then I have ever had before, the best feeling ever!
Appreciated the small things in life more, like just watching TV with my mommy
Became more grateful, counted my blessings every day which kept me away from a negative mind-set.
Loved deeper and fell in love with what makes people different.
Enjoyed finding something special and unique about the people around me.

Became more confident, I can speak about Christ everywhere and anywhere.


 Next year I want to…
Pray for a servant’s heart. God doesn’t make great leaders, he makes great servants and great servants became great leaders.
Become a spontaneous gift giver.
Work in everything as if I am working for God.
Wake up early and take pictures of the sun.
Became a better daughter, sister and friend
Become more creative academically and as a leader, I would love to have more ideas.
Get more direction in terms of my career. It is my third year next year and I am still unsure about so many things and I am trusting in God all the way.
Make a difference in people’s lives
Contribute more to the Kingdom financially and finally get myself to choose a ministry.
Have a totally BRAND NEW way of thinking, there is nothing wrong with how I am thinking now but I wanna think more and more like a women of GOD.
Become a leader that God wants me to be
Be more open to new friendships

Corinthians 2:14: But thank God! He has made us his captives and continues to lead us along in Christ's triumphal procession. Now he uses us to spread the knowledge of Christ everywhere, like a sweet perfume.