Friday, 23 November 2012

Long-term relationships

I was watching a talk show the other day and a caller mentioned that she and her ex-boyfriend dated for nine (9) years and now she has been dating someone else for 6 months and they are already engaged, my jaw dropped when I heard that they had been together for nine years, I mean how on earth do people date for nine years?
As a young Christian trying to pursue the will of God in my life, seeking God’s best and direction I do not believe that casual dating for a long time is unacceptable. Think about it: Dating should have a purpose, which is MARRIAGE. I think that the primary goal of dating is to have fun with someone you have an interest in and at the same time to get to know someone in order to decide whether you think you could marry them. Dating someone you know you will never marry doesn't sound wise to me, it's just giving them (and yourself) the opportunity to fall deeper into a relationship that is not going anywhere. It is my belief that you can tell if someone is a keeper within the first two years (maximum time). I am a BIG BELIEVER in purpose and having a vesion in a relationship, Proverbs 29v18 is clear about this: Where there is no vision, people perish. I cannot imagine giving my heart, time and energy to someone for 9 years if they are not willing to commit to me.
It is my belief that money and a wedding do not have to be an issue when you have found the one you love, if you really want to make it happen you will. It amazes me how people will claim that they are not ready to get married but they have babies as if parenting is not a bigger responsibiliy  and MORE MONEY than marriage.Most of the time if a guy is not willing to ask the ‘BIG QUESTION’ it’s because he is already getting the husband benefits. Why milk a cow if the refrigerator, is filled with gallons/litres of milk? Without bring up the 'marriage topic', I believe it's important to know someone's vision for thier life before getting too emotionally involved in a relationship with them. 

What do you think about long term relationships?

Side note: As you can see, my blog looks TOTALLY different, I have Oluwaseun from MyStyledExpressions to thanks for that. She helped me out with just about everything, she designed the header and did everything in between. THANK YOU Oluwaseun xox!!


  1. Well, all's well that ends well! If those in long term relationships can achieve their purpose, then it is good.

  2. LOL, that sounds like a safe answer. But I guess you are right to some extent,our journeys aren't the same.

  3. I think one of the main reason why people tend to spend so much time before getting marriage is because they're afraid of divorce. Nowadays we see so much people who divorce and it can be scaring for some people to imagine that they might end lonely if this happens.
    From a personal experience, I know a man who has been dating a girl with whom he had so much in common, the kind of girl who is comprehensive, caring and who said yes to everything to avoid drama, so he thought that he could stay with her as she's a good person and then he realized that he was lying to himself because he did not love her (at least he loved her just like a friend) and because he didn't want to hurt her he stayed with her. People like to pretend and that's what causes pain in this world. As for me I don't find it normal to date someone for so long. I don't see the point of dating someone if I don't intend to get married and have children with that person. Life is too short, people tend to forget that they're not immortal and that death might come tomorrow.
    (Btw I like the new design, simple and refreshing)

  4. I don't do long term and i have never been in one

  5. It's great that you wrote about this. My last relationship almost went on for 3 years until I broke it off. Getting serious with my relationship with God this year, reading the bible, attending single's ministry I've come to conclusion that if I'm not engaged in less than a year & a half I'm moving on. BUT, since I don't plan to date, but court when the time comes around that shouldn't be an issue. There's really NO reason to be in a long term relationship. I say be single if that's the case. Don't waste one another's time.

  6. Well personally,I can't date for that long cuz it gives room for doubt and then both parties will start finding faults that were not there from the onset. But some long relationships,actually work out that's if they started dating at an early age like 17,they will wanna grow together and prepare themselves well for the future before,getting married. Just my opinion tho.

    1. I totally agree with you, me and my boyfriend have been dating since high school and weve been together for three years now. Of course we have our ups and downs but we are definitely growing together in Christ and on day plan on getting married. Having a long term relationship is not only based on time getting to know the person but also taking into consideration age, financial, mental, emotional, and spiritual readiness.

  7. love this!
    this post is really amazing!I love your sense of style!!

  8. it does happen hey! my partner & I have been dating for 5yrs now and i'm only 22 years, not ready to get married any time soon. but that doesnt change how much i love him. when the time is right thats when ppl get married not because how long they have been together.

    my grandparents ( Christians) got married after 10 years and 40 years later they still together and loving each other.

  9. Excellent post!

    Ps - love, love, LOVE the new layout!

  10. very interesting blog. I absolutely love the inspirational words. Come visit my blog and lets keep in touch.

    God bless

  11. Thank you for all your comments.

    I am glad that most of you agree that dating for that long isn't normal cause a relationship should have a purpose. God is all about vision and purpose and I believe life is all about following the heart and nature of our God.

    I appreciate every one of your.

  12. Love youre blog!!! <3


  13. Hi, Great post. I found you through the blog hop. Now following you.Please stop by and say hi when you get a chance.
    Be sure and check out my new Blog Hop that we just started, It's Weekly Goals Link Up. It's a great way to stay on track. Have a great day. :) Here's the link in case you want to check it out. Thanks again

  14. I agree, there is no need to be in a relationship if you don't plan to marry the person, I mean what's the purpose behind that? It's wasted time and energy. My now husband and I dated, or should I say "courted" for about three years. I already knew he was the one, but we did have some growing to do before marrying one another. And you are right money should not affect your decision to get married. Me and my husband decided against a big ceremony, we are college students so we will have a big grand shindig later, right now we are greatly enjoying one another :) Blessings to you.

  15. Out of all your post, this one intrigued me the most. I actually bookmarked the scripture (proverbs 29:18) in my bible thanks to you. Long term “dating” relationships aren’t for me either but I do understand how sometimes they are necessary. The bible teaches us that a man is to come to a woman with a plan. In doing so, some men want to be financial stable before making that kind of commitment. When they take on a wife they want to be the sole provider. That takes some men longer than others. I’ve been in a relationship going on a year and a half. I’m confident that we will be engaged by two years. To my benefit he pursued a relationship with me once he became financial stable. We were casual friends for a year prior to us getting into a relationship. He wanted to take his time and focus on his dream before fully pursing me. I respected that which is why I didn’t mind focusing on me until that time came. Therefore, I can see both sides of this fence but regardless I enjoyed your view point and this post.

    Jelicia M.

  16. I love a man with a vision. I met a "guy " in '06...we started dating in ' engaged in ' married in '09 and had our son in '10. There has to be a purpose and in everything we do. I respectfully disagree with long term relationships because it opens the door to a lot of things like pre-mature feelings, pre-marital sex and a fake comfort in "remaing as we are".
    If you are too young to marry, what exatly are you doing dating? What does that satisfy? it's like holding a deep dish pizza in your hands (sorry i am being told you cant eat it for 9 years....WHY ARE YOU HOLDING IT???If you are not emotionally or mentally ready to marry, you are not emotionally or mentally to be in a relationship.

  17. I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 years and we plan on getting engaged and married within the next year. It has been a wonderful friendship, partnership, and growing experience!He is graduating this year, and I am next spring. It just hasn't been feasible for us to get married yet financially and life wise.

  18. I have been dating my boyfriend for 7 years and we plan on getting engaged and married within the next year. It has been a wonderful friendship, partnership, and growing experience!He is graduating this year, and I am next spring. It just hasn't been feasible for us to get married yet financially and life wise. We are both strong Christians!


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