Last year while staying late up on campus a friend of mine happened to mention that she wants a boyfriend on campus, the way she said it sounded like she just wanted to date for fun which got me thinking... we have really lost the purpose of dating! It seems like so many people date just to date and I am not excluding myself, although I have been single for almost two years now because I simply refuse 'just to date', I cannot say I have always been wise. I have also been in a relationship where I did not put too much thought into, I just knew that I liked the guy and went into the relationship with him but now I can say that I am a lot wiser (by God’s grace). This post is about why I would never date for fun and I why I think everyone else shouldn’t.
Dating just for fun causes unnecessary turmoil and heartbreak
Relationships can go so many unexpected directions and to be honest before you date someone you can say you are dating just for fun all you want but the minute you are in that relationship you will have little control over what your heart feels. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." This scripture is so important; it tells us to GUARD OUR HEARTS, protect it, don’t let any Tom, Dick and Harry get a hold of it, keep it pure and in this case the best way to guard your heart is to avoid dating for fun. I do not believe God intended me to go around 'falling in love' with every cute guy that comes my way. I believe that there is one guy out there who I should marry and there are a lot of guys I shouldn't so why should I be interested in them if they're not the one?
Be not deceived, Bad Company corrupts good character
I have made up my mind, I am not a Jesus fan, I am a Jesus follower. I seek to get God’s approval in all area of my life. It is important to me that if I get into a love relationship it glorifies God. I agree whole-heartedly with Apostle Paul when he says believers should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Look at it this way, hang out with spiritual losers and you will become a spiritual loser but WHOA, hang on this is not to say we should not have casual contact with unbelievers that is too extreme and definitely not what the bible teaches that would even be contradicting myself cause I do have unsaved friends and I love them to bits, they contribute to my awesome life. As harsh as it may sound thought having friends that are not born again has taught me that believers have nothing in common with unbelievers that is why we date should only date within the body of Christ. Date someone who understands God like you do. Date someone who understand what you go through… the good times….the tough times…the time of prayer… the times of rejoicing. Date someone that will help you grow in Christ, isn’t that the whole point? More of Christ? In fact I love how Maya Angelou puts it for the ladies, she says a women’s heart should to so hidden in Christ that a man has to seek Him just to find her.'. Going back to the heading, it so true just as the secret to dealing with peer pressure is to choose the right friends; the secrete to to having a relationship that will glorify God is to choose smart, date a man/women after God's own heart.
God's purity standards are high.
God asks us to save sex for the marriage bed (Hebrews 13:4). He also tells us to refrain from lustful thoughts (Matthew 5:28). These standards are easy to agree to when you're at a singles seminar at church or signing your pledge for purity note or a ladies conference but they are tough to stick to when your heart is fully engaged in a romantic relationship-TRUTH! Just ask the hundreds of Christian girls who suddenly found themselves pregnant. These aren't girls who don't love Jesus. They aren't girls who were not wishy-washy in their stand for purity. They are girls who got caught up in a romantic relationship too soon. The best way to guard your purity in the years before you are able to marry is to avoid unnecessary relationships all together in order to avoid romantic relationships all together.
Timing is everything
I made a discovery about what the Song of Solomon says about time from another blog and found it so fitting for this topic/post, here we go:
Timing is everything.
Song of Solomon 2:7 says, "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
Song of Solomon 3:5 says, "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and by the does of the field: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
Song of Solomon 8:4 says, "Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires."
What's up with the repetition? I think Solomon really wanted to make a point. The right person at the wrong wrong time is still the wrong person .
Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8 also tells us about time
"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.
A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to reap that which is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing.
A time to get and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace."
How do you know if the time is right? Wait to be released! If you find yourself having feelings for a guy/lady speak to your spiritual leaders about it and have them tell you what do they think about the whole situation. They know you, they pray for you and they keep record of your spiritual progress so they will be able to tell you if you are ready for a relationship.They have been around for a long time so they will be able guide you in the right direction.
More important than your leaders is God, pray about it and ask God to shut down any door that he doesn't want you to enter. I have been doing this and it has been working out so well for me.