Saturday, 31 December 2011

Note to Self: God believes in You

My bittersweet promotion.
So I got promoted from co-coordinator of our structure to the supervisor of our structure. This is the position I have been keeping my eyes fixed on ever since I become a leader, I knew that once I become a supervisor it meant that I will have reached a certain level of spiritual growth and leadership skills which I desired very much. While I was a member (not a leader), being a supervisor seemed so big. I used to look at my leaders and I admired and looked at them so much, I just knew that one day I was going to be like them: I wanted to contribute to the Kingdom like they did, lead people like they did, pray like they did (in my own unique way of course) . And finally I am here, but I am not as happy as I am supposed to be but right now I genuinely don't feel worthy of this position, I don't feel that I deserve this position. Being a co-coordinator was really tough for me, I don't think I did that much of good job as a co-coordinator to be promoted to become a supervisor, although I don't doubt for a second that I can do it. I just feel as though I am getting a position that I do not work for, I feel as though I failed at being a co-coordinator not because of my abilities per say but because so many things went so FREAKEN wrong. First it was the move, our house got renovated in April and we left our neighborhood for approximately three months and when we got back so many things had changed, I totally felt out of place. Then we got to the second semester and my classes clashed with the weekly structural meetings which caused me to be absent from my ministry duties.
I am busy trying to remind myself that promotion comes from God and not from man. If God didn’t want me to be a supervisor then I would not be a supervisor. This promotion has really reminded me how much God really believes in me, even though I feeling undeserving of this position He still believes that I do deserve it. You see, God doesn’t see us based on our mistakes, He only sees what we can become, He only sees the BEST in us.

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